New Resolutions!

As the last week of December draws in, it's time to draw lessons from the year about to finish and make resolutions for the year ahead. I do this every year, only to realize nearly half of them remain unfulfilled. May be it is difficult to plan for an entire year, not knowing what life holds for us the very next moment and what circumstances await us.

2019 taught me many things. While I have always known this, it was only over the last year I understood how a small piece of news can change our life completely and everything we dreamt of. It even made me look at the world from an entirely different perspective. I consider it an important lesson in humility- in the grandiose scheme of Universe, my life is but a tiny speck of dust. It also made me realize the pretentiousness and shallowness of everything we strive for- position, fame, riches, comforts. Being able to live the difference is a huge source of strength for anything that comes next. 

Each year I hope and dream and (earnestly) plan for things I wish to do in the year ahead to make my life richer and more meaningful. Yet, it is often the things we need to stop doing which will bring an immediate palpable change in our lives. Difficult as they may sound (and habits do stick hard!), the entire process of exercising restraint is a mammoth boost to one's will power and strength.

And then there are the 'in' words- hygge, lykke, ikigai, lagom, fika and the likes. No checklist can tell us the source code of happiness. Neither the books. Nor another person. We are all unique- so are our needs, likings, aspirations. And so should be our resolutions- for another year, for marriage, for our children and for life ahead.

With this newly acquired clarity, for once I will strive to achieve the tiny goals I set out for myself in the soonest measure of time (not necessarily a year).

Of all the things,

1- I shall not offer any unsolicited advice and bite my tongue if I feel compelled from within. And by same token, insulate myself from people's opinions (shaped by their understandings and experiences) thrust upon me. Most days, our intuition knows the correct path.

2- I shall limit any of my purchases to days which are multiples of three- 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, 18, 21, 24, 27, 30. Any purchase of clothes, accessories or toiletries to be preceded either by giving away an equivalent(or greater) quantity or recycling an empty container of the same. By all means, declutter.

3- 20 minutes digital break every waking hour. Social media confined to hours when both kids are out of the house. Social media and online shopping guillotine at 9 pm.

4- Trying a new bake every week- with diversified but locally grown (and available) ingredients.

5- Growing more and more plants at home, at office, all around myself. I have an 'urban jungle' in mind.

5- Devoting atleast 4 hours each week to hobbies- writing this blog, drawing, photography, running.

6- Doing a new thing each day- new route, new food, new work out.

7- Blocking negativity in all forms- emotions, thoughts, people. Impossible things happen only if imagined at some point by someone. Anything is possible.

8- Pray. Meditate. Observe.

9- Undertake one bucket list journey each year- a trek, a drive, a pilgrimage but a must!

10- Lastly, appreciate and feel grateful for my blessings each day.

Soulmates

Of this I am certain
Our paths would have crossed
However fleeting the moment
Like they had crossed
A million times
Before we even knew
Of each other's existence
Little be the Time
Bestowed upon Us
I treasure You
Always will

The Other World

"Sometimes I think I live in a gap between two worlds, one world that I have to wake up to, be adherent of the rules and live in a place that is dictated by others. A place I sometimes feel the fear of aging and dying before I have figured out what it is I am here to do.

That other world is sweet, fresh and misty, inviting adventure into the unknown, melding ancient wisdom with new discovery; the sunlight turning into moonlight and the spell of eternal life is never broken.

Perhaps in that gap I should repair the forgotten bridge from one side to the other, but truth be told, I don't want to. I don't want to because I don't have the energy to fix what is broken within. I am a wild, wandering nomad, I belong everywhere and nowhere all at the same time, and in that gap between worlds, I am free."

~Riitta Klint

Of live music!

It's strange how a  song from a distant day can trigger a flood of memories. While shuffling songs on the player today morning, I heard the familiar beats of Tu Aashiqui Hai and was transported back to the year 2008. My second year of graduation. AIIMS annual fest. We were there for the finals of the India Quiz, waiting in the last rows of the auditorium. It must have been 7 in the evening. A music competition was being conducted on stage and I wasn't paying attention. But more than anything that day I remember the performance of a college band who played 'Tu Aashiqui Hai'. It wasn't the era of mobile recordings but till my last breath I will remember their rendition. I do not even remember if they won but it was the beginning of a lifelong romance for live music. I hadn't heard the original but when I did, it did not even remotely capture the magic of that performance, that evening.

What is it with certain notes at certain times that, that moment remains frozen forever. Sometimes I feel as if there is music for our ears and then there is music for our souls. The latter is the kind which strikes a chord deep inside and nourishes from within. I do not as much remember the songs I play everyday as the songs we sang on our journeys, on our special get togethers and the songs I heard my parents or my grand parents sing. That was all the live music we needed then and even now.

December 2018. On a rain drenched christmas eve in Nuremberg, I heard the mellifluous strains of 'Hallelujah'. As people milled around the Europe's oldest Christmas market, it was as if that quartet conveyed the timeless spirit of the festival through their music. That is what a European Christmas will mean forever. Perhaps their notes will carry the sound of their music way too far, for way too long.

And just as I was least expecting any musical interlude, over dinner at a neighbourhood place, I heard the most beautiful piece of violin in my life. Perhaps my word is too small or perhaps my soul hasn't been drenched in enough music as yet. But these three live performances will remain 'alive' forever. Of all the things I try to share in life, these will be exceptions. Nothing could recreate their magic, nothing could replace/replicate those notes etched in my memory.  During my last, I hope these will be the moments that will flash before my eyes. These will be the moments which will assure of a life well lived.